Yo Ho and a Bottle of Rum
by The Girl With the Runes
Summary: After Harry gets his heart stomped on by Ginny's hand me down shoes, he makes his way to Hogsmeade, drowning his worries in a bottle of rum. (This is a Drarry, no lemonade, just humour)


Harry stumbled down the cobbled streets of Hogsmeade, unruly hair like an ink spill, falling tumultuously over the scar seen around the world, brushing his eyebrows. He walked as though the world around him was spinning, occasionally taking sips from an empty bottle of firewhiskey, which he didn't seem to realize was empty.

The streets were decorated festively, coloured lights floating in store front windows, wreaths and garlands decking the alleys, nooks, and crannies. He blew air from his mouth heavily and drunkenly, his whiskey taunted breath dancing across the chilled air, tiny water droplets spinning in a silent ballet. His footsteps left deep imprints in the pristinely falling layers of snow that dusted the ground like powdered sugar.

Harry hiccupped and turned into Three Broomsticks, wanting more liquor to ease the pain of his and Ginny's break up. She was a cold bird, that one, dumping him on his sorry ass a week before holiday. He set his jaw, colliding down onto a stool roughly, making the wooden legs wobble back and forth before settling on to the ground. He raised a finger in the air, his green eyes glassy and vacant.

"Bar-keep!" He sang in a shrill falsetto, twirling his finger around until a bottle of red currant rum was slammed down in front of him by a very fed up Madam Rosmerta. "Why thank you, doll, yo ho and a bottle of rum!" He cheered before taking a long swig, swaying around a bit and cheekily winked at the proprietor of the establishment.

Potter sighed, staring deeply into the ruby red drink that stained his lips the color of his house. His expression grew darker as he thought more and more of the girl who stomped on his heart with her hand-me down shoes.

Sure, she was his best mate's sister, but, that didn't give her good reason to dump him for Dean-bloody-Thomas. He snarled and took an angry drink, violently slamming the frothing tankard back down on to the counter, attracting looks from many of the patrons who were trying to enjoy a peaceful drink out.

"Dean Thomas!" He exclaimed in a manic tone, standing up and knocking his drink everywhere, spilling it on himself, the counter, and everything in between. It made it look a bit like he had urinated himself, but, he really seemed oblivious to it. Madam Rosmerta huffed.

"Go home, Potter! You're drunk!" She shouted, shooing him out with a broom, as though he was trash that she had to kick to the curb. Harry stumbled out, slurring profanity out of his Kool-Aid red mouth.

He scowled at the door to the pub. "Batty old witch, who does she thinks she is, kicking me out, Harry Potter, the boy who lived?!" He proclaimed to the empty street, the night sky twinkling with stars above, illuminating his drunkenness. He declared this as if it was entirely absurd and she had no good reason. He started wandering through the back alley ways, trying to find his lost tiger shark, or so he mumbled to himself.

He spotted a blur of white and he pounced like a very drunk lion, attacking what he assumed was his pet tiger shark. He wrestled the foul beast to the ground, it was shrieking chants that sounded vaguely human.

"Potter! Potter get off of me you bloody git!" Draco Malfoy exclaimed, shoving the delirious wizard off of him and into a heap of snow. Harry leaped back up, rocking on the balls of his feet, fists up in a fighting stance, a very lopsided and wobbly fighting stance at that.

"Fight me, foul little beasty!" Harry taunted, trying to look tough, which, mind you is very hard to do when you are drunk and are dusted with snow, so that it looks a tad bit like you have been rolling in cocaine. Draco rolled his eyes, pulling out his wand.

"Drunken prat," Malfoy rolled his eyes and raised his wand, about to petrify the swaying Harry, when the Boy Who Lived threw up all over Draco's shoes. He jumped back, almost tumbling into the snow bank himself, instead falling against a pine tree, evidently not good enough for Christmas, that leaned against the alley wall. "Damn it, Potter!" He huffed. "That was Italian leather! My father will hear about this!" He angrily spat, starting to mutter a spell that would likely do some very irreversible damage to the poor heartbroken Harry.

That's when Harry lunged. He dashed forward like a madman and tackled Draco into the snow bank, screeching like a banshee on a rampage from Hell. "FOR ASLAN!" He knocked over the Slytherin, and just laid on top of him, not making an attempt to get off the struggling second party.

"Gerroff!" Draco mumbled viciously into the snow, flailing his arms and trying to dislodge Harry. After a few moments of triumph, Harry stood up, placing his fists on his hips, like an insane superhero.

"You are most welcome, random citizen! I fought off the tiger shark from your head with my mystical powers!" He waggled his fingers in front of his face, making noises that sounded as though they came from the Twilight Zone.

"You didn't fight anything but my hair! And you just vomited on my shoes!" Draco exclaimed in exasperation, standing up. Harry peered curiously at him, leaning closer. Draco moved back out of the "splash zone."

Harry took another step closer to him then felt a strange feeling in his gut, something that had been gnawing at him for some time. "I think I like you, Random Citizen…" He said, as though the words had a mind of their own and had no place being in his mouth to begin with, but they felt right.

Draco cocked his handsome head. "Potter?" He questioned slowly, enunciating each syllable as though his life depended on it.

Harry kept speaking. "Yes, that…that's right. I like you, no. It's more than liking. I am _in_ like with you. In like. I have suppressed feelings for you, Random Citizen with the tiger shark hat!" He cheerfully exclaimed.

Draco's face changed from disbelief to a look that held hints of happiness. "Are you serious?" He asked the drunken black-haired boy.

"No, I'm Harry," he said with a straight face.

"I mean do you like me?"

"No, I like the Random Citizen with the tiger shark hat, I don't know this 'Me' of which you speak. Tell me, where is this illustrious 'me'?" He got close to Malfoy's face, their noses touching.

"Damn it, Potter. Do you like me, Draco Malfoy, or not!" He yelled, surprising even himself.

Harry titled his head and tapped his chin, shaggy hair falling to the side. "Yes, I think that's right…" He pondered aloud.

The other boy's cheeks flushed the smallest of bits. "You...you do?" He stammered, disbelief written all over his pale face, grey eyes astonished.

"Yes," Harry stated simply. Draco opened his mouth to say something else when he noticed the wet stains on Harry's trousers.

"Did you piss yourself?!" He dubiously laughed in a shouting type of tone, his voice filled up to the brim with sarcasm.

Potter glanced at his stained trousers in shock. "I do believe I did, but that is beside the point, Tiger-Shark-Wearing Random Citizen!" He was still nose to nose with him. "There is something I would like to doooo," he started to sing his words about half way through the sentence.

Draco looked as though he was about to dart, his guard back up, realizing just how drunk his crush was. "Uh…"

Harry leaned forwards and kissed Draco full on the lips, tasting of whiskey, rum, and the putrid tinge of bile. Malfoy's eyes grew as wide as saucers, but before he could do anything, Harry collapsed backwards, managing to land face down in the snow bank, singing a tune that sounded somewhat like "Yo Ho and a Bottle of Rum," again, only he replaced rum with the words "Random Citizen with the tiger shark hat."

The Boy Who Lived felt like he was waltzing across clouds.

The Boy Who Didn't Have a Choice seemed to feel the same, his face flushed, and not just from the nip in the air.

"Uh…so, thanks?" He stumbled over his words, touching his lips, Harry still singing into the snow. "I guess I will see you around some time?" The timbre of his voice hinted at something more than just a bump in the hall.

"Of course you will! I am _in_ like with you!" Harry sang those words too. Draco smiled and started walking off, Potter still singing behind him in the snow.


End file.
